Your Big Dream: Uncover and Cherish It

Take Control: Change Your Life in 17 Minutes
How Can You Inspire Yourself?

Have you ever confided a deeply-held dream to a friend or family member, only to have them look at you as if you’d lost your mind? Did you feel deflated? Worse yet, dejected? That’s what ALMOST happened to me recently, when I revealed to two different people my intention of becoming a bestselling author and national speaker.

“You’ve got to have a lot of drive,” Marcia murmured, when I revealed my goal, as we talked in front of the elevator, on the third floor of my condominium in Hartford. She had a stricken look on her face. The kind you might have if someone had just announced they were planning to jump off the Empire State Building.

“Just drive?” I wondered, relieved. If it’s only drive, I’ve got it made in the shade. After all, I woke up at 4:30 in the morning for three years to commute 6 hours a day, from New Hampshire to Boston, so I could earn a Ph.D. Did it when I had two young kids and a spouse who commuted to California two weeks a month. Took statistics four times, so I could pass my comprehensive exams. All without a clear career goal in mind. Yeah, I’ve got plenty of drive.

The next person, Betty, with whom I talked at an author’s book signing event, seemed to be blatantly discouraging: “If at first you don’t succeed, she advised, in a condescending voice, “try, try again.” I felt like punching her in the face. Instead, I replied that the first article I ever submitted was accepted for publication. “Where?” she demanded, in an accusing voice. “In The Good Vibrations Magazine,” I replied, picturing in my mind’s eye the check I had received. Betty shrugged her shoulders and sauntered away, leaving this dismissive word left unsaid: “Whatever.”

How can you uncover your dreams? Most of us repress our dreams. And if we’re aware of them, we dare not voice them for fear of being ridiculed. Mocked. Yet, voicing our dreams helps them become real – to ourselves and to others around us.

I suggest you uncover one big, hairy audacious goal buried inside you. How can you that? Just let yourself wonder what it is. When someone puts you on hold, instead of checking your email, ask yourself: “I wonder what big, hairy, audacious goal is inside me.” If you let your dream know it’s safe for it to come out, it will emerge, clear as day. Welcome it with a big hug.

You can grease the wheels by applauding other people’s dreams and desires. When Dr. Shelly Gable, a professor at the University of California in Santa Barbara, investigated what makes marriages great, she found that in successful relationships people capitalize on the positive things the other has to say. They encourage each other big time.

Try this: React enthusiastically when a person shares their dreams and accomplishments with you. Rather than pointing out the possible pitfalls, identify the positive benefits. You might say, for instance: “Hooray for you! You must be thrilled to see your path clearly in front of you. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. When you need a pat on the back, be sure to let me know.”

Not only will you inspire the person you’re addressing, you’ll inspire YOURSELF. To dream BIG.  Because your brain listens to what you say. Feed it happiness steroids: positive encouragement.
And eliminate ONE piece of paper today. Doing so will remind you that you can . . .  Change Your Life in 17 Minutes!

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