It Is So Very Important to Try a Little Parlez-vous …

By Denis Horgan | Last updated Jan 24, 2010, 4:05 pm

Isthmus.

My new Rosetta Stone won’t help me much with that one.

Putting together a quick trip to Panama, of course I happen on the word “isthmus.” “Isthmus” lives in Panama. But it is one of those words that likely you could go much of your entire adult life and never say out loud. Which is good, because you can’t pronounce “isthmus.” Too many consecutive consonants. You sound like a tipsy Elmer Fudd. Isthmus. Isthmus. Isthmus. You can read it but you can’t say it.

But say it I will try if say it I must. Because it’s their country.

I have no skills with languages, little enough with English. Over time, I have taken uncountable courses in Thai and Spanish and German and Russian and Latin and, in a pinch, cannot say more than baby talk in Latin or German or Spanish or Thai. I worked with a guy in Bangkok who could pick up languages in a twinkling. Any language. It was like he had the flame over his head. He once worked for the NSA, back before its principal amusement was listening in on Americans, and was trained in Russian. Then they sent him to Southeast Asia for the wars there. He said it was a mistake but I knew very well that he had been there to listen in on the Russians who were flying most of the MiGS for the North Vietnamese. But, trained in Russian, he learned Thai and Khmer and various branches of Lao in a matter of hours. It was easy.

I hate him.

I try, oui I try. But, as Frank McCourt’s drunken father said, “You can’t teach an old dog a new bark.” I wasn’t even old. I am not old now either, no matter what they say. Languages won’t stay with me. I can pick through a book or newspaper and get 15 percent of it, but all fails me when I try to talk. I had a little Russian in college and when I first went to the Soviet Union all that would come to my addled mind was French. I took plenty of French but, in France or Quebec, Thai dribbles out. I study Spanish again and again but wither away at the auctioneer way they talk so fast.

But I do try, and that’s the point. Going to Panama I am again struggling in advance with Spanish. I have done a lot of travel in my happy days and have a shelf full of books on the countries — and languages. Some overlap enough that I can stumble through, but there’s nothing to help me with Croat or Arabic or Hungarian or Chinese or … or most any of them.

But how could we not try? I collect a few phrase and use them over and over — the “thank you” and please” and “where is the bathroom?” to get through the day. I never much use the “What is the opinion of the abbatoir director?” that they inflict on us in the language books. But the basics I try.

Because it is only basic to know that if you try, people will go a long way to help. I have stumbled or watched others be downright rude in their language-paralysis and seen the locals go cold and unhelpful, as they have every right to do. I have seen, much more often, that even a feeble effort is rewarded with patience and acceptance and friendliness. Who wouldn’t want that?

My bark is much worse than my language bite. But I try.

2 Responses for “It Is So Very Important to Try a Little Parlez-vous …”

Ed P says:

January 24, 2010 at 9:40 pm

I agree with Denis. My language skill are very imited, but larning even four or five words can open doors and get you help. Pointing, waving a map and a little laughter gets you the rest of the way.

Learn simple things like Hello, Thank you, toilet?, yes, no, and 90% of your needs can be covered along wiht gesturing.

Reply
- Denis says:
  
  January 25, 2010 at 8:17 am
  
  That’s exactly right. Plus it’s just that much more respectful to try. I haver seen people get the cold eye for not even trying but I never saw anyone get in a jam for making the effort. We should just try to imagine how we’d feel if someone came to our hometown and demanded that we speak his language rather than trying our own.
  
  Reply