Much of our stress arises out of our relationship to time. There are three time frames to consider: past, present, and future. And in any given moment we are always in the present. That present can consider itself, the past, or the future.
The psychological present, which lasts about three seconds, directs attention. It can be focused on reality or fantasy. Future and past are fantasy, products of imagination. The past already occurred; the future has yet to occur. Even if the content of those fantasies are real, that is, events that did happen or will happen, we are still using imagination to access them. We can also access imagination in reference to the present when we are engaged in commentary about the present.
What the future, past, and present-oriented commentary share in common is a narrative — a storyline. Without the storyline there is only the experience of the present moment; without a storyline there can be no stress.
The present moment (without commentary) is a refuge, a place where we are at home. Do we live at home? Do you visit home frequently. Unlike an anxious mother, the present moment never says, “You never call; you never write.” The present moment doesn’t complain when it is neglected. It receives us, no questions asked, anytime we can remember to come home.
This is the power of mindfulness.
Yet, we like to mark time up, break it into pieces: seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries. We also like birthdays and anniversaries.
There is a reality to a year — one trip around the sun, yet decades and centuries seem like a social convention stemming from our fascination with ten.
Birthdays are funny creatures. We are always aging — in every moment — and not more so on our birthdays. What is the difference between, let’s say, 47 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, 59 seconds and 48 years?
One second.
Yet the psychological weight of that one second might be heavy, might be infused with significance. Experiencing time in this way is a personal choice. We can make time up in this way by buying into these cultural demarkations of time. Or we can take them apart, experiencing each moment as the unique event that it is.
Science is not quite sure what time is, but what we do know is that it only moves in one direction — forward. So, why not get comfortable moving forward with time, one moment at a time, enjoying it as it arises and dissolves into the next one.
To learn more about how to live in the present moment and how to increase our connection to compassion read my books. I’m pleased to announce the publication of my latest, The Everything Buddhism Book. It’s an accessible yet comprehensive introduction to Buddhism with my practical, contemporary, and sometime irreverent perspectives.
Arnie’s books are available for order below and his free guided meditations are also available below.
For more information on mindfulness and additional guided practices, visit my website Exquisite Mind.The complete CD 1, CD2, CD3, CD4, and CD5 are now available for listening and download, free. Visit here for a guided breathing and body scan meditation; walking and standing and standing yoga, mindful yoga, and the mind scan and emptiness practices, andworking with pain.
Arnie Kozak, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, meditation instructor, and author of Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants: 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness(Wisdom, 2009) and Everything Buddhism (available on Amazon now). 108 Metaphors for Mindfulness has been translated into Spanish and Chinese. Arnie also the founder of the Exquisite Mind in Burlington,Vermont and writes a daily blog entitled Mindfulness Matters: Tools for Living Now!
You can practice mindfulness meditation every morning from 8:00 to 8:45 (EST) in the eMindful.com online classroom. To login into this free meditation, click here.
As an expert in stress reduction, wellness, and mindfulness, Arnie will present weekly practical wisdom for transforming stress. His award-winning writing will help you to lead a richer and happier life.
Photo Credit: Susan Lirakis.
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