Here’s the problem. It’s MOTHER’S DAY. Hallmark Card moments. Television commercials recommending hearts and flowers. Beautiful gifts. But, what if you don’t have a great relationship with your mother? What if your mother has abused/neglected/disappointed you? What if your mother has passed? It’s not such a great day for so many. So what can you do to?
First, take the high road. If you have discord with your mother, unless it would be harmful to you or to her, wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. You don’t have to feel it. Just do it. If you’re in the middle of an argument, ask yourself this:
If your mother is destructive to your mental health, give to another mother. Protect yourself.
If your mother is gone, remember you can honor ANYONE who is a mother. A family member, a friend, even someone who is “mother” to an animal. And honor your own MOTHER self. Do something special. Give yourself the gift of TIME. Giving is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. If you’re a man, give to all the women in your life. Just a smile or a card or a simple acknowledgment of all she gives. Honor your love for your mother by honoring someone else’s mother. Visit a nursing home. Gather with women friends. Wish every woman you see a Happy Mother’s Day. All women are mothers, whether to children or to an animal or to a relative’s child or to nature. Women are blessings to the world. Nurturing, giving, loving. Women love. Love women!
Kathleen Cairns, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in West Hartford, Connecticut. She works with adults, adolescents, and couples. You may call her at 860-236-5555 to make an appointment. She is the author of “The Psychotherapy Workbook.” You may email her at email@example.com and she will try to answer as many of your questions as possible.
Life goes on… and every day matters…