DEAR DOCTOR KATHLEEN,
I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. My entire life is focused on food. I have been anorexic since the age of 14, and now, at the age of 24, I’ve become bulimic. My life is empty and I feel lonely and hopeless. My life is out of control. I know I need help but am afraid to go to therapy. What can I do?
SAD MARY
DEAR S. M.,
You admit you need help, you admit you have a problem, and now you need to overcome your fears of RECEIVING HELP! Whenever I work with an eating disorder patient, it’s important for me to deal with the underlying feelings of depression, helplessness, powerlessness, and hopelessness.
You have described all of these feelings. Basically, you have either starved yourself (anorexia) or overeaten and vomited (bulimia). Typically people say “binged and purged.” I don’t like the phrase “binged and purged” because it lessens the true horror of the act. By stuffing yourself full of food, you are saying, “I NEED I NEED I NEED.” By throwing up, you are saying, NO I”DON’T NO I DON’T NO I DON’T”.
Think about what you need, think about your feelings of emptiness. See how you are filling that empty space with food. Therapy will help you uncover the reasons for these feelings, and you will learn healthy ways to heal. You will learn to foster your needs with people. Relationships give us love and support.
Using food gives us indigestion. Go to www.psychologytoday.com to find a therapist with expertise in this area. Go to the library to learn as much as you can about this illness. Margo Maine, Ph.D. has written several excellent books that have helped so many people with eating disorders. I also highly recommend “Runaway Eating” by Cynthia M. Bulik, Ph.D. and Nadine Taylor, M.S., R.D. Remember, because there can be a genetic and chemical component in eating disorders, anti-depressants have been used with great results to eliminate or ease symptoms.
YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN HEAL.
Symptoms of Anorexia
* Less than 85% normal body weight
* Fear of gaining weight and of being fat
* Distorted body image
* Loss of menstrual cycles (3 months)
* Misuse of laxatives, enemas, diuretics
* Excessive exercise
* Fasting
Symptoms of Bulimia
* Binge eating
* Feeling a lack of control over eating
* Self-induced vomiting
* Sense of self based on weight and shape
* Distorted body image
* Misuse of laxatives, enemas, diuretics
* Excessive exercise
* Fasting
Kathleen Cairns, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in West Hartford, Connecticut and the author of “The Psychotherapy Workbook.” You can email her at kathleen.cairns@mac.com and she will try to answer as many of your questions as possible.
www.kathleencairns.com
Life goes on… and every day matters…
