LIFE GOES ON: How I Met My Partner – First of a New Series


So often in my practice, I hear about the frustration and hopelessnessfelt by so many men and women (and teenagers) about how hard it is to meet someone special. Finding your match can be daunting, and yet the most beautiful stories I’ve heard are always about serendipity.

A seemingly chance meeting that was completely unexpected.

On a personal note, I normally do not self-disclose, but thought my story was simple and completely unexpected, a perfect example of serendipity.

I grew up at a beach since age 7, and in the winter, there were only about 12 families that lived there all year round. In those days, as kids, we could go outside to play without any supervision. We would ride bikes and swim and sled and climb trees. 3 years ago, I was walking my dog Grace in the neighborhood, as my mother still lives there. And there was one of the boys from my childhood who was visiting his brother who had just moved back to their family home! We hadn’t seen each other since high school. He lives in California, and even though I was there for 10 years, we were never in touch. So we began to email and text and call and visit, and over time, a wonderful relationship has been created. When you least expect it…..

So, I would love to hear from all of you about how you met your love. Please reply below and it will be shared anonymously for all to read. Hopefully, it will inspire others to have faith that love will enter.


Kathleen Cairns, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in West Hartford, Connecticut. She works with adults, adolescents, and couples. You may call her at 860-236-5555 to make an appointment. She is the author of “The Psychotherapy Workbook.”  You may email her at and she will try to answer as many of your questions as possible.

Life goes on… and every day matters…

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4 Comments on "LIFE GOES ON: How I Met My Partner – First of a New Series"

  1. Kitty Hegemann | July 16, 2012 at 7:16 am |

    I knew my husband in high school and for a few years thereafter. My life changed and I moved away. Twenty years after losing touch with him, I stopped at a local pub for a beer on my way home from work. Bill lived next door to the and we started talking. We became close friend and about two years later began dating. It all ended in marriage, which has lasted twenty-one years. Although we are very different people, he’s an old surfer and I’m a retired school marm, we get along famously and share a deep and abiding love.

    • I have received many responses from people who have reconnected with high school friends that have later turned into romantic love. With Facebook, it is easy to find past friends. (Of course, Facebook has been the cause of a lot of infidelity too!) When we re-meet someone from our past, we have the feeling that we know that person on a different level. It’s like when you go to a high school reunion, you may not know the details of the person’s life, but you still know the CORE of their personality!

  2. I’m happy for those who’ve had a great experience…but I’m now too old for it…and I don’t believe in it anymore, never found that kind of happiness.

    • O, love is there for us at all ages. I know of a woman who was married for over 40 years, became a widow, and a few years later, met another wonderful man. They have so much in common and really enjoy life together. Love is not about age, it is about letting yourself be vulnerable enough to let someone into your heart. There must have been someone special?

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