LIFE GOES ON: From Eeyore to Tigger

Posted By: Dr. Kathleen Cairns March 13, 2011

FROM EEYORE TO TIGGER

DEAR DOCTOR KATHLEEN,

I am a worrier. I usually have 3 or 4 problems running through my mind every day. It’s exhausting! Most of the stuff I worry about never even happens! I feel like if I don’t worry, I won’t be prepared for the worst. But I think it must be annoying to be around me. I annoy myself!  Everyone tells me I’m a pessimist. How can I change?

EEYORE

DEAR E.,

I love the Winnie the Poo books. Each character exemplifies a personality type that determines how they view their lives. I am assuming that you would rather be Tigger, the bouncy, happy optimist.

Studies have recently shown that we are born with certain optimistic or pessimistic tendencies due to our unique brain structure. Happy Tiggers, unhappy Eeyores, scared Piglets, pensive Rabbits, pontificating Owls,and most lucky of all, Poohs, who just BE. Worrying and being negative can also be habits. If you were raised with a parent with these traits, you are more likely to emulate them.

There are plenty of things you can do to stop this habit. But you must work at it everyday!

~ Set aside 15 minutes every day to write down your “problems.”

~ Worry about them at the same time every day. If a worry comes up, just know that  you can worry about it at the appointed time.

~ The question you ask yourself is extremely important. Change “Why is this  happening?” to “What can I do to fix/accept this.”

~ And most importantly…create your intentions.

  1. Intention: I want to be peaceful and calm and happy.
  2. Pay Attention: Oh no, I’m worrying and being negative again!
  3. Thought Stopping: STOP IT! (Some people say it outloud for emphasis!)
  4. Thought Replacement: I will make a list of all the possible outcomes and solutions. I will be fine. Everything will work out. I will ask for help.

Try this for 30 days and you may become more peaceful and positive.

 

LIFE GOES ON©

Kathleen Cairns, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in West Hartford, Connecticut. She works with adults, adolescents, and couples. You may call her at 860-236-5555 to make an appointment. She is the author of “The Psychotherapy Workbook.”  You may email her at kathleen.cairns@mac.com and she will try to answer as many of your questions as possible.

www.kathleencairns.com

Life goes on… and every day matters…

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