LIFE GOES ON
Hello Readers,
I’ve received such a huge response from so many of you in response to my column about inappropriate magazine covers in grocery stores. I want to suggest that if we all printed this column and took it to store managers, we just might make a difference. You can print this by seaching the LIFE GOES ON columns.There is power in numbers, and if there are enough complaints, they may listen and make a change. It’s worth a try!
PLAYTIME!
Dear Doctor Kathleen,
I am a very busy, goal-oriented, middle-aged woman in good health, and I am very successful in my professional life. BUT, I’m not very good at knowing what to do with myself when I’m not working, cleaning, or doing errands! Somehow, I forgot how to have a “good time.” Can you help me?
Too Serious All The Time
Dear T.S.A.T.T.,
Someone once said, we are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS. My life was changed years ago when I read “IN PRAISE OF IDLENESS” by Bertrand Russell, written in 1937! In it, he says we should all slow down and work only 4 hour a day. With the rest of our time, we could read, visit with friends, take a class, walk, putter, and enjoy life! Imagine what he would think of our world in 2010!
At the time I read this, I was the Director of the Hartford Insurance Group’s Employee Assistance Program and had a private practice one night a week. I was working about 50 hours a week, and although I loved it, I had little time for myself. I reassessed my priorities, moved to Los Angeles, and worked 20 hours a week as a psychologist. By cutting my work hours in half, I gave myself more free time to play. I realize most people can’t cut back on their work hours, but there are definitely ways to KEEP TIME. I don’t believe we were meant to live lives just producing and achieving and saving for retirement so we can finally enjoy free time. NOW is the time! EVERY DAY MATTERS. We need to KEEP time, not make time. We need to keep time for our families, our friends, and ourselves. Time is truly all we have. So, what to do?
JUST SAY NO!
We all need to learn how to set boundaries by saying no, by setting priorities, and by sticking to our decisions. We don’t say, “I don’t have time to brush my teeth today.” We just do it. We plan on our “getting ready in the morning time”. How easy it is to put ourselves last, but as they instruct on the airplane, when it’s going on, put your mask on first or else you won’t be able to help anyone else.KEEP TIME, and go PLAY!
GO OUTSIDE!
Walk, run, rollerblade, ice skate, golf, ski, garden, hike, walk the reservoirs, play miniature golf, bicycle, swim, tube down a river, sail, snow shoe, take the bus, build a snowman, climb a tree, play hopscotch, jump rope, play ball, tennis, ice fish, smell the roses
STAY INSIDE!
Read, write, decorate, play with animals, telephone friends, invite friends over, listen to music, write music, learn to play an instrument, make plans, organize your home, clean out the attic/basement and donate or toss, watch a movie, cook, bake, WII, putter, play board games, have sex, cuddle
ALONE TIME!
Read, knit, sew, crochet, do sudoku or crossword puzzles, connect with others on the internet, write a journal, write a book, write poetry, photographs learn woodworking, remodel projects, exercise, cook, make time for yoga and Pilates play DVDs, write letters, garden, take yourself out to a nice restaurant, play with trains, plan a vacation
TOGETHER TIME!
Book clubs, restaurants, home parties, card parties, martial arts classes, board game parties, doing nothing together, take a class, form a men’s group, form a women’s group, create a new circle of friends, travel, meet-ups, join a choir
FUN PLACES! 
In the Hartford area, we have so many museums! (Wadsworth Athenaeum, New Britain Museum of Fine Art – free on Saturday mornings- Hill-Stead Museum), theatres (New Britain Rep, Theatreworks, Playhouse on Park, Hartford Stage), Real Art Ways, historic sites (Mark Twain House, Harriet Beecher Stowe House, Noel Webster House, parks (Bushnell Park, Elizabeth Park), downtown Hartford, Boston, New York, New Haven, Providence, New England B&Bs, Martha’s Vineyard, Nantucket, Block Island, gyms, yoga classes, Pilates classes, movies, libraries, malls, beaches, mountains, farms, spas, Mohegan Sun, Foxwoods, MGM Grand!
AND BEST OF ALL, VOLUNTEER!
Choose a favorite cause and give your TIME, your greatest gift.
WRITE ACTIVITIES ON SMALL PAPERS AND PLACE IN A BOWL. PICK ONE DAILY! EVERYDAY!
Kathleen Cairns, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in West Hartford, Connecticut. You can email her at kathleen.cairns@mac.com and she will try to answer as many of your questions as possible.
www.kathleencairns.com
Life goes on… and every day matters…
