BEAUTY LIES
WATCH THIS FIRST, THEN READ:
http://www.dove.us/#/features/videos/default.aspx[cp-documentid=7049579]
I worked as a psychologist in Beverly Hills for 10 years. My office was across the street from one of the most prominent plastic surgery clinics in the country, if not the world. Every day, I would see limousines coming and going. Dropping off eager patients in the morning, picking up the bandaged in the afternoon. Mostly they were there for elective surgery to enhance beauty. Expensive, painful, with the promise of looking FOREVER 33. The Fountain of Youth is no longer magical water. It is the transformation that comes from scalpels, botox injections, lasers, and liposuction.
Living in Los Angeles, I had the opportunity to see famous people almost every day. At restaurants, grocery stores, car washes, banks, and walking on the street. Many were patients, some were friends. Ordinary people with extraordinary jobs. They have the same issues as anyone else. Love and work. The only difference was that they had much more interesting work stories than the rest of us!
As you saw in this amazing video, BEAUTY LIES. The model has a symmetrical face, (a requirement for our standard of beauty) and great bone structure. All genetics. The rest is a lie. Hair, make-up, lighting, great photography, with touch-up and enhancement: PHOTOSHOP and airbrushing. The finished billboard didn’t look anything like the real model at all! And that’s normally what it’s like when you see a movie star in person. Without all the enhancements, they look like attractive normal people, (with the exception of Michelle Pfeiffer, who was so amazingly exquisite without any makeup at all!)
The problem is, everyone is fooled by the media. The rich and famous don’t look like their photographs in magazines, books, and newspapers. NO ONE looks like how they appear in film and television. As lovely as Diane Sawyer is, if you look carefully, she is filmed through a filter during her close-ups on the evening news. It softens, enhances, and defies her true age.
In my practice, I am always amazed and saddened that beautiful young women are so prone to feeling ugly and fat. They compare themselves to these false images of beauty and feel depressed, less than, and terribly self-conscious of their “flaws.”
My theory is that pretty girls have been praised for their looks and have therefore come to think their beauty is their main asset. So, when a pound is gained or a wrinkle appears or a hair turns gray, it feels like their worth as a person is diminished. They sometimes feel less lovable. Sometimes I think beauty is wasted on the beautiful! They can be so critical of the slightest imperfection. So many MEN and women feel “less than” when they compare themselves to the beauty lies of the media.
Perhaps there should be a disclaimer: Attention! The photos in this magazine have been retouched, airbrushed, and Photo-Shopped! Do not attempt to look like this yourself!
I commend Dove’s video campaign that is attempting to teach girls and women the truth about beauty. (The only problem is that Dove still tests on animals. Please write to them to ask them to stop. There is no need for this.) Look at www.leapingbunny.com
Let’s remember the reality of humanness. Our beauty is inside. Perfection is boring. Reality is so much more interesting.
Kathleen Cairns, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in West Hartford, Connecticut and the author of “The Psychotherapy Workbook.” You can email her at kathleen.cairns@mac.com and she will try to answer as many of your questions as possible.
Life goes on… and every day matters…
Kathleen, your so right! doesn’t any body think about inner beauty any more!