DEAR DOCTOR KATHLEEN,
While waiting in line at the grocery store, my 6-year-old daughter asked., “Mommy, how do you have lots of orgamas?? What’s an orgasma???” I realized she was reading and mispronouncing the cover of a popular magazine! I felt so embarrassed as the other customers looked at me to see what I would say, (as if I would know the answer!). How can we protect our little children who can read from these ridiculously inappropriate headlines in public places? I don’t know what to do, other than not taking her to the grocery store with me. What a sad world!
Doctor Kathleen
SHOCKED PROTECTIVE MOTHER
DEAR S.P.M.,
I believe that some magazines should be rated R and covered to protect those under 18.
We rate films PG and R and X, and yet our magazine headlines are in full view for all to see, regardless of age or maturity. I believe in freedom of speech, but I also believe it’s our duty as adults to let children be children, to mature at a natural pace. Until the last few decades, songs used to be about love and romance, and now they’re often about sex, drugs, and violence.
While on my daily walk today, I watched 2 boys and 3 girls skateboarding, wearing t-shirts and jeans. Then they stood in the middle of the street and sang a very popular rap song with shocking language. And they had the Brittany Spears dance moves to match! They were about 10 years old. Why do they act like this? Why do they dress this way? Obviously they’ve been influenced by what they see and hear on the web, television, film, CDs, DVDs, iPods, and radio. They can’t help it. Children are mimics. They want to fit in. So what can we do?
STEP ONE: Talk to the manager of your grocery store, drug store, and anywhere else magazines are on racks for all to see. Ask if they might be placed in a more appropriate place to protect the children. Of course, sex sells, and this probably won’t work. But if we all band together, maybe someone will listen.
STEP TWO: Write to the editor of the magazines directly, stating your disapproval of their provocative covers. Again, if enough people boycott them, they will respond.
STEP THREE: As Reba McEntire says in her song, “What do you say in a moment like this, when you can’t find the words, oh to tell it like it is.
Just bite your tongue and let your heart lead the way. Let’s get out of here, oh what do you say.” Divert your children’s attention. Continue to screen for age appropriate use of television, websites, and music. You wouldn’t let a 6-year-old look at Playboy. So now it’s time to take further steps to let them live as children deserve.
Doctor Kathleen’s email address is kathleen.cairns@mac.com. She will get back to as many people as she can and will use some of your questions for future columns. If you would like to order her book, please go to her website kathleencairns.com.
When my child was young, I would scan the magazines when I entered the checkout line, and would turn over any whose covers – images or words – were offensive or inappropriate. I am not a prude, but some things just don’t belong in an environment like the supermarket. Some stores have kid-friendly check-out aisles, where candy and other unhealthy snacks are not on display. Perhaps there ought to be the same thing for magazines. I’d be happy if the checkout aisle had only the conveyor belt, a cash register, an attentive cashier, and a bagger who wouldn’t put the tomatoes at the bottom of the bag under the canned goods.
…..Clearly we’re talking about Cosmo. “Six sex secrets your guy won’t tell you!” Ehhhhh. Some of our local grocery stores TRY to put a little translucent shield over these mags. Invariably, pranksters move the covers to more tame publications like Reader’s DIgest. Ah, what to do, what to do?
….Honestly, I was more concerned about my kids grabbing for the salty snacks and beef jerky stuff. If they actually read the Cosmo cover and asked “daddy, what’s an orgasm?” the best answer is the truth. “Well, son, it’s the good feeling adults get when they try to make a baby.” Don’t make a big deal about it. If the kids are too young to understand, ye olde attention-span will kick in. If they DO get it, honest truth is your ally.
…..We can’t shelter our kids in a foxhole, these days. Make sure they have the facts. Make sure they know what the consequences are. Society will not protect us. You have to give your kids the knowledge they need to make good choices.